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The Boredom Ramble

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Hello again, random self-gratification, et cetera. First off, I want to say that this update serves no purpose. Now that we're past that gem of ineffable wisdom, let us move on to less important things. Like the post itself.

I hate boredom. No, wait, I hate being bored and being unable to do anything about it. Sometimes you can be bored and it's an okay, "lazy day" kind of boredom. Then there's the "dear God someone get me something to do before I stab myself to death with my own pried-out teeth" kind of boredom. The kind of boredom that probably caused God to invent shotput, so He could watch and mock the silly little mortals feebly heaving vaguely spherical objects in random directions for no readily apparent reason. Speaking of shotput, I had to do that in my Phys. Ed class in high school. I was a lot weaker back then (90 pounds), and I could barely even get a respectable throw in. Or shot, or put, or throwputshot or whatever the hell it's called when you uselessly push that ridiculous ball at a vaguely forward angle. And on the topic of vaguely forward angles, I can't help but notice the difference between Harrier jets and passenger jets. Why do we need runways for passenger jets? Why don't we use the propulsion technology from Harriers to enable vertical takeoffs and landings, thus saving a great deal of space that would be better used for residential areas where everyone could be deafened by planes passing overhead at all hours while they futilely tried to sleep? That's much-needed space, as overpopulation will ultimately change this planet into a gigantic metropolis, kind of like Cybertron from "Transformers" only less full of robots and not constantly being attacked by every giant planet-destroying force ever concieved, including Aids and Richard Nixon. And about Richard Nixon: what the hell kind of last name is Nixon? It translates roughly as "no-on" or "disallow-on". I don't know about you, but if I had the option to vote for a President whose last name was No, I'd vote for the other guy. But then democracy is essentially corrupt these days due to a toxic cocktail of nepotism, bribery, and blatant PR-mongering amongst the politicians who are supposedly our best and brightest. Jean Chretien cannot pronounce a single English word, former Ontario Premier Mike Harris flunked out of the tenth grade, and George Bush appears to be lagging a few steps on the evolutionary ladder. No wonder no one votes any more; no matter who you choose, you're wrong. It's kind of like religion. When you choose a religion, the law of averages says you will most likely be incorrect, unless you're an agnostic in which case everyone pisses themselves with rage and accuses you of sitting on the fence, no matter how many times you patiently explain, "yes, I am sitting on the fence, but that's because the ground on both sides is full of bad faith and televangelists." Religious zealots are the bane of civilized progress everywhere, labeling everyone according to the arbitrary rules laid down by some disinterested deity a billion miles away who may or may not exist and doesn't particularly appear to care if we know he does or not. Don't blame me, I voted for Buddha. Now there's a guy I could get along with. He was laid-back, easygoing, gentle, kind, and absolutely determined not to exist. An ambitious goal, if I do say so myself. And on the topic of ambition, howcome nobody is willing to try anything these days? Sure, you hear all the time about giant bridges and brilliant feats of scientific knowledge, but how many people in total are the actual driving force behind these great doings? Maybe a few hundred. There are ten billion people in this world. We currently have an ambition-to-indifference ratio of about one to 100 million. This saddens me deeply! You'd think that every once in a while, anyone could suddenly sit up and say, "I always wanted to learn how to play the saxophone. I think I'll go do it." But no, no one tries. No one cares. They care about making something of themselves almost as much as they care about North Korea's eccentric blustering, or was it South Korea? Who cares. Ninety percent of the population of North America probably couldn't even place Korea on a map, let alone tell you what kind of a threat they pose. A person might blurt out the word "nuclear" and then run away, but that's the best you could hope for. Do you know why? It's because Evil Korea, whichever side that is, has been ranting and raving and vomiting threats since Jesus was nailed to the cross, and we're not about to start taking them seriously now just because they're about to blow themselves up with some poorly maintained reactors they built with parts they stole from a drifter from Kandahar. It would be a lot like that Russian reactor, I should know it's name but I'm tired, give me a minute, what was it... Har... H something, maybe... well, whatever the hell it was at the time, that was a big screw-up. It's just like those crazy Russion bureaucrats to let something like that happen. I mean, Russia is basically the biggest slum on Earth, and the people in charge are essentially crime lords. Now, if you take Johnny the Slasher from downtown Los Angeles and put him in charge of a nuclear power plant, what do you get? Boom. Whoops, looks like having no maintenance, no trained staff, and no motivation to fix either of those is a bad thing after all. Just like the Canadian army. We don't have any planes that work at all. Our helicopters are falling apart. Our subs are in the West Edmonton Mall, so we bought new ones off the British, and those ones were sinking, so we promptly failed to repair them. Great leadership and initiative, boys, next time let's recruit our officers from a damn preschool in the hope of getting some better minds behind our military. Everyone complains about funding and blames the politician, but let me draw your attention to a little article that was run a while back. Apparently an officer used night-vision goggles to spy on female officers in the shower. Now, I don't mean to nitpick, but why do we have highly expensive and hard-to-procure night vision goggles if we haven't got any damn planes to get our troops to somewhere they'll be useful? It's no wonder the damn things get used for voyeurism; they're no use for anything else right now. And now that I mention voyeurism, I'm led to remember a bunch of news stories about people putting those tiny new cameras in laundry hampers or in other concealed places to spy on female neighbours. Why is everyone shocked and stunned by this? The instant I first laid eyes on one of those little devices, I immediately thought, "the only reason to have something that easily concealed is if you want to do something illegal with it." Hell, that X2 or whatever it was openly advertised its abilities. It had a big banner saying "See EVERYTHING" and a picture scrolling up and down a half-naked girl who was looking off in some other direction. Voyeurism? Aye, and openly touted at that. That's the problem with companies and capitalism. It's not that they have freedom - freedom is good, and the ability to earn your own way is good. But the problem is, capitalism allows everyone to trample one another until a few people rise to power through immoral business practices and stomp all the little peons still struggling to survive, like a bad game of Starcraft which Microsoft ultimately wins by Zerg rushing the entire map. No one does anything about unethical capitalism, because it's already gone to far. Money rules the hearts of men, and the companies hold all the money. Not only does this mean that they can bribe politicians and throw very expensive parties, it means they can put factories in third-world countries where they pay each six-year-old worker a penny an hour to carry large anvils from place to place. Well, I may be exaggerating a bit; the children are probably closer to eight. And do we do anything? No, we're all too busy buying our high-priced designer shoes cured with the sweat and tears of doomed, faceless labourers in a desolate land far away. Sort of like Mexico. Only Mexico is full of tourists, which confuses me because the three largest exports of Mexico are criminals, tequila, and rape. Why would anyone go to Mexico? I say someone should annex the damn place before the Mexican government hurts itself. More than it already has. Again. Maybe Cuba. Yeah, that would be cool, if Cuba had some territory on the mainland for people to go drinking on. In fact, I could use a drink. I've been getting these headaches lately, and I'm feeling a bit down because I can't go anywhere tonight. I'm really bored. I hate boredom.
A crazy piece of purposeless crap. If you read this I cannot be held responsible for your injury or death.
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