TheFiend

I just looked at my old journal entries and holy shit I used to be a retarded prick. I mean, I'm still sort of a prick and kind of retarded sometimes, but Jesus.

Anyway, I might post something about something at some point. I don't know. I might be drunk instead.

I've started actually using this page again, since, as my wife's writer, I should probably have some sort of presence or webspace or something of that sort. I'm going to be posting up little first-person monologues by each of the main Ransom characters, graphically embellished by Ran. Shocke's is up now, and I think I'll be doing Magnus next.

Since I'm doing a little more writing now, I might start writing rants and rambles again. I briefly had one kicking around in my head about elections and smear tactics, but I've forgotten the gist of it so I suppose I'll just have to create three pages of vitriolic tripe about how much I hate peat moss instead. A masterpiece in the making!

I was writing a journal entry a minute ago, but it got pretty long-winded and waxed philosophical about Street Fighter, so now it's a Deviation instead for some reason. I don't really know how these things work, I just wildly mash my various body parts into the keyboard at random and then words come out and I punch the mouse in an alcohol-fuelled rage until the computer does my bidding. Apparently my bidding usually involves searching for porn.

But I digress. It's been around half a year since I last posted anything on DA, so I can rest easy knowing that I'm still uploading at my usual pace. Sometimes people are like "upload faster" but then I punch the mouse and the computer turns off and then I go play Metal Gear Solid 3 and attempt to complete the motorcycle chase at the end using nothing but empty ammunition magazines. Did you know it's really hard to destroy a state-of-the-art nuclear tank by throwing empty clips at it? I know I sure didn't!

I don't remember what I'm talking about anymore but that's okay since I probably wasn't talking about anything in the first place. Oh well.

Okay, so I'm walking around the house, right? And my back is all sunburned and stuff because I went to a cottage and I don't remember what happened but I think it involved Crown Royal and a canoe. Anyway, I sit down at the computer and Randi's like, "You haven't posted on dA since Nov. 10 last year," and I was like, "What the hell is dA?" And then I came here and I was like, "oh yeah, this thing."

Man this place has changed. I step out for the simple matter of nine months, and everything's all "advanced" and "improved" when I get back. I AM OFFENDED BY THIS. If there is anything religion has taught me, it's that change is bad and I should stone it. I'm an atheist though, so I won't throw stones at my computer because that would be stupid, and also it would change my computer and then I would be forced to stone myself to death. Also the stones hitting me would change me so I would have to stone the stones and that would implode reality, which is a big change, and I don't think I need to tell you where that leads. It leads to me STONING THE UNIVERSE.

At any rate, I forget what I came here to post, so instead I will abruptly end this journal without explanation. Not now, though. It will come in a bit, be patient.

The other day I was talking to Randi's grandpa about his adventures driving all over Canada. He told me about how he had a military license before he had a regular license (which cost 50 cents in those days) and that he had 500,000 kilometres or something like that of driving experience before he went and got his card. The guy at the counter just said "give me your fifty cents" and handed over the license with no test or anything, and Randi's grandpa was like "thank you sir" and I think he drove to Antarctica or something, I dunno, he's been fucking everywhere and I think he mentioned going to Europe or Uranus or Optimus Prime or something in a go-kart.

So anyway, the point I'm making is this: you should never expect to get a short story from an old man.

ABRUPT END WITHOUT EXPLANATION

Hey, guys, I'm still alive, I swear!

Also, I am engaged to . She is awesome and I totally plan to be that one guy that everyone likes because he's all laid-back and easygoing, but then someone threatens his wife or makes her upset or something after having too much to drink, and he totally goes Akuma and turns into this wrathful warrior type and everyone's all "OH SNAP" and then the building collapses. I don't know why the building collapses, but that would be bitchin'.

Also, I bought Soul Calibur 3. Talim and Seung Mina are still the most massively cheap bastards I have ever fought, although the other characters seem slightly better balanced - ESPECIALLY Ivy, who did not instantly kill me every time I faced her. This is an improvement. Also, making your own character is so fucking cool that I wish there was some way that I could apply this game to real life and turn myself into a totally wicked-looking guy who runs around with a crazy massive sword but fights mainly with his feet and that looks silly 'cause he's in giant plate mail and you're all like "oh man he's gonna chop me" but then he kicks you in the chin and you're just like "motherfucker WHAT" and he kicks you off a cliff. That would be awesome.

Also, Star Wars: Battlefront II is such a cool game that, when I played it, I experienced a Nirvana-like state which I refer to as a "gamegasm." This only takes place when you do something insanely cool in a game which is so awesome that you are drawn into it utterly. Like if you're playing Deus Ex and you're in that MJ12 lab in Hong Kong, and you get caught and the alarm goes off, so you just unleash Ninja Rage and charge out of there using your elite Iaijitsu skills with the Dragon's Fang to kill everything in your path, you would have a gamegasm.

Anyway, I must go now so I can fail to complete an assignment. Bye!